I tried to come up with my own headline… something sensational and strange… but then I realized that CNN’s headline for this story was really as good as it gets.

And you might think that with a headline like “Monkeys Control Robots With Their Minds,” that I’m about to write some goofy or sarcastic article that is barely related to technology.

But you’d be wrong. There’s actually real science at work here, and it has some pretty awesome implications for the future of medicine.

Some scientists at the University of Pittsburgh have implanted electrodes inside the brains of some monkeys. And those electrodes have allowed the monkeys to control a robotic arm with their thoughts. Yes… their thoughts. (Man, is there anything monkeys can’t do?)

From the article:

The arm is controlled by a network of tiny electrodes called a brain-machine interface, implanted into the motor cortex of the monkeys’ brains — the region that controls movement.

It picks up the signals of brain cells as they generate commands to move and converts those into directional signals for the robotic arm, which the monkeys eventually used as a surrogate for their own.

The scientists are talking about some incredible applications for this, chiefly the ability for disabled people to control robotic or prosthetic limbs… with their minds.

Think about that for a second. Let it sink in. In the not-too-distant future, a paralyzed person might be able to still have complete mobility and autonomy using this technology.

Of course, the non-scientists among us are thinking about evil schemes and world domination, where some psycho controls an army of robot soldiers in a bid to take over the Earth. I mean… Terminator anyone? What’s that? You weren’t thinking that? Hmmm, maybe it’s just me. I do watch a few too many sci-fi movies.

But seriously, this is kind of a big deal, though they have yet to test their electrodes in humans. There will, of course, be several more years of testing before anything can be known for sure or be made available to the public. And even longer before able-bodied people like me can buy it at Wal-Mart… but I’m going to start saving my money now, because I’d sure love to have a robotic arm laying around that I can order to change my TV channels or bring me a glass of water by simply thinking it.

(photo credit to Andrew Schwarz & CNN)

(photos by AP)

A robot built by Honda has conducted the Detroit Symphony.

I know.  Hard to believe, right?  Who knew that Detroit even had a symphony?

It’s also hard to believe that a robot conducted that symphony.  Does this mean that conducting isn’t all that hard after all… or that the robot is just super-duper advanced?

The Honda-bot, named ASIMO, is a multi-talented guy.  At 4′ 3″–hey, just like Tom Cruise–he can walk, run, and respond to simple voice commands–hey, just like Tom Cruise!

But seriously, this is the first time ASIMO or any other robot has ever conducted a symphony, so I guess it’s a pretty big deal.  However, the story is a bit deceiving.  Seems that ASIMO isn’t quite as advanced as you might think.  He was only  mimicking what he had seen a human conductor do.  From the article:

As it conducted, it perfectly mimicked the actions of a conductor, nodding its head at various sections and gesturing with one or both hands. ASIMO took a final bow to enthusiastic shouts from the audience.

ASIMO has its limits. ASIMO’s engineers programmed the robot to mimic Charles Burke, the Detroit Symphony’s education director, as he conducted the piece in front of a pianist about six months ago. But it can’t respond to the musicians.

So it’s not as though ASIMO is thinking for himself.  Rather, he’s just regurgitating behaviors that have been modeled for him.  (Tempted to go for a third time on the “Hey, just like Tom Cruise” joke… but I’m worried that would be one time too many).

ASIMO stands for Advanced Step in Innovative Mobility.  Boy, that just rolls off the tongue.  Maybe we should add that as a possible name in our Name Our Robot poll.  Or not.

Look, if robots are conducting symphonies, and that’s national news, I think we can all breathe one big sigh of relief about the whole “robots taking over the Earth” concerns.  Of course, if ASIMO is so good at mimicking, I guess all that needs to happen is for some idiot to show him The Terminator or The Matrix and we’d all be in serious trouble.

The Doritos commercial during the second quarter of the Super Bowl last night, where the mouse is jumping through the wall, was the perfect metaphor for the game itself.  The guy with the Doritos, the one setting the mouse trap with a tiny corner of one chip, then sitting back and stuffing his face… that guy is the Patriots.  Confident, favored, the “clear winner” before the contest begins (and he knows it). He even sets up a chair so he can sit and watch and revel in his opponent’s defeat.  

But he didn’t count on his prey, the mouse, being tougher and more prepared for this challenge than could have been expected.  Here, take a look:

See, that’s what you get when you underestimate your opponent.  The NY Giants were the bullies last night, physically dominating the Super Bowl for pretty much the entire game.  Their defensive front pushed around the Patriots offensive line from the second quarter of the game on.  I will admit that I was rooting for the Giants, but calling them the winners of the physical battle in last night’s game is not a biased statement… it’s just a fact.  They were tougher.  That was one of the greatest upsets in NFL history.

But the real Super Bowl water cooler discussion this morning in most offices won’t have anything to do with the game itself.  Instead, office workers across the country are right now debating the greatest and the worst of the Super Bowl commercials.   What’s your favorite?  If you missed any, you can go here to check them all out. 

I clearly enjoyed the Doritos mouse jumping through the wall.  It was as funny as it was unexpected.  Many seem to think the Etrade baby spitting up was great–though a little gross. 

Or how about the trailer for Pixar’s summer 2008 movie, Wall-E?  That was pretty hilarious.  And the Macy’s parade balloons chasing after the coke bottle balloon was very clever as well.  And I was also a fan of the Pepsi/Justin Timberlake commercial. 

Seems like every year, though, the sum total of commercials is underwhelming.  Why does it always feel like previous years had a better crop? 

Hmmm, now my only challenge is to find a way to relate this post to technology, since this is a technology blog and all.  Hmmm.  Well, I did watch part of the game online.  And I watched the rest of it on a flat-panel HD TV.  That’s techy, right? 

I suppose we could talk about the tasteless GoDaddy/Danica Patrick commercial, since it relates to domain purchases.  But that’s just what GoDaddy wants us to do, now isn’t it?  Each year they get racier and racier, all for the sake of the free publicity that’s generated by having a super racy ad–and look at me, contributing to it.  Sorry. 

Well, how about the Etrade commercials?  They’re about a web-based business.  That’s techy. 

Oh, who am I kidding?  I just wanted to talk a little football and share my favorite commercials from the big game.  Time will tell which is the best, as everyone goes online over the next weeks to watch the ones they liked best over and over.  This year’s winner, for me, is the Doritos mouse jumping through the wall.  Great commercial, great analogy for the way little brother Eil and the Giants won the Super Bowl. 

Lost is back, and I’m pretty happy about it.  There are several of us in the office who watch, and each week we come into the office stammering and yammering about the latest developments.  Even if you don’t watch Lost, there’s no denying it’s a powerful mystery that has millions wondering every week where the next twist or turn will occur. 

It’s as good an excuse as any to talk about viral marketing.  Viral marketing is any marketing attempt where the fans themselves are the marketers–where the message spreads like a virus.  Usually it’s a video or a website that people are just compelled to forward to each other through email.  You may have heard about some of the viral marketing efforts for The Dark Knight (which claimed that the Joker had his own website at WhySoSerious.com–a site that has now added a black ribbon memorial for actor Heath Ledger) or Cloverfield (which featured a number of puzzle-related sites such as the Ethan Haas Was Right game). 

But no one does it better than Lost.  There have been countless online games, books, side mysteries, and other online content that feeds the underlying mystery of the show.  Back in the show’s first season, the fictional airline (Oceanic Air) had its own website, where you could click around and fiddle with the book-a-flight interface to unlock other secrets of the story.  That site currently has an alert message that All Flights Are Cancelled–in keeping with the mythology of the show. 

If you follow Lost, you now know that some of the survivors of flight 815 make it off the island.  And there appear to have been six of them total–hence the question “Who are the Oceanic 6?”  We don’t know how or why they get off the island, as we’re only getting flash-forward vignettes that give us hints. 

We do know that Jack, Kate, and Hurley are three of the six.  So the question becomes…”Who are the other 3 of the Oceanic 6?” 

We’re competing here in the office with a small pool, where each of us has guesses at which survivors will make it off the island.  My money?  It’s on Sayid, Sun, and Claire.  I think Sayid will make it off the island, simply because he doesn’t trust Locke.  The other two I’m picking because one is pregnant, and the other just had a baby.  Seems like a new child is as good a reason as any to get off that island. 

Just a guess, obviously.  And yeah, if you don’t watch the show, you’ve either stopped reading already or I’m beginning to seriously bore you. 

The point is this:  Lost is the viral marketing champ, and that’s evidenced by fans everywhere (including us here in the office) obsessively drawing up scenarios, discussing mysteries, and following the online clues.  The show’s mythology even has its own Wikipedia page, separate from the main Lost entry!  Every season of the show sees the produers upping the ante in terms of hype and mystery.  And the big viral push this year is “Who are the Oceanic 6?”  The billboard pictured above was photographed in Florida the week before this year’s premiere.  Think about that… part of Lost’s viral marketing campaign involves real-world, old-school-advertising in the form of a bill board.  Because they knew some obsessive fan would take a picture of it and put it online and the furor would begin.  Lost has come to point in its life where the episodes themselves are viral marketing efforts, as the producers put so many tiny clues and hints and references in the background that fan-sites have cropped up all over the place to post screenshots and pour over the details looking for clues. 

Listen, viral marketing is not just for the big guys anymore.  Sure, they own the market…they may have perfected it.  But viral marketing is a phrase that sort of first got its name back in the days of the Blair Witch Project, where producers counted on folks who thought the footage of the film was real passing the word of the film to their friends via email.  The little guys are the ones who started this whole thing.  And “viral marketing” can be as simple as a fun post on your company blog or website that you try and get folks to link to.  If you’ve heard of social bookmarking sites like Digg, Reddit, or Mixx, then you should know that these sites are full of content that is essentially linkbait. 

 ”Linkbait” is a form of viral marketing where content with mass appeal is created and then submitted to social networking sites like the ones mentioned above.  Stories that make the home page on Digg have been known to receive tens of thousands of site visitors in a day’s time–often crashing the server of the target site.  And stories that make the home page also generally lead to a bunch of new links to that site across the web–and links are terribly valuable in terms of search engine placement.  Here’s a quote from this excellent summary article on the benefits of linkbait:

While there are many factors that search engines use to determine how they will rank a web page - one of the most powerful elements is how many links point to it. Search Engines treat incoming links to your site like votes - (I’m over simplifying here) the more votes you get the more they’ll see others as valuing your page.

So let me give you an example:  You run a football blog.  Let’s say you just love football and the NFL and you write about it on your personal website.  And maybe your regular, every day content is a summary of the week’s games and predictions for the next week’s match-ups.  A good viral campaign for you would maybe be to create a list of some football-related thing….say “The Top 10 Most Amazing Super Bowl Comebacks Ever” (which would be a timely list, no?) and you write a little synopsis for each game.  Then, with a little luck, it gets picked up by Digg on the home page and your little football blog gets thousands of hits and a hundred links.  Within days you’re ranking #1 on Google for a ton of football-related queries and your once-little blog now has hundreds of subscribers. That’s how linkbait works.

That’s the hope, anyway.  Viral marketing is definitely a hit or miss endeavor.  There’s no way to know what content will set the web on fire.  But that hasn’t stopped companies far and wide from trying. 

We have a few clients trying some very clever viral marketing ideas, some smaller than others, some more successful than others.  Developing and implementing viral marketing and linkbait campaigns is a bit of a new service for us–heck, it’s new for everybody–but we’re having a blast helping out sites that want to reach a huge audience quickly, or develop a strong group of devoted followers.  If you think we might be able to infuse your online marketing efforts with a little extra zing, give us a shout and let’s talk about it. 

Or we can just talk about Lost and who you think the other 3 members of the Oceanic 6 might be.  Perhaps an even better question to ask would be “Who aren’t the Oceanic 6?”  Either way, it’s fun to talk about, isn’t it? 

Here’s a brand new reason to care about the welfare of Britney Spears:  She’s good for the economy.  Really good.  Like… $120 Million-a-year good. 

Yeah, you read that right.  According to this article, it is estimated that Britney Spears adds between $110-$120 Million to the U.S. economy per year….and that’s when she’s not out on a concert tour. 

Clearly Britney is popular–she’s the most-searched phrase on the Internet for 2007 (and 5 of the 6 previous years as well).  And everyone groans when I mention that… as though they feel someone or something else deserves our national attention.  And I’m sure there’s some truth in that.  But you can’t say she’s not pulling her weight in terms of the economy. 

Here’s a longer article that goes into detail on why she’s worth so much to us in terms of dollars.  See, Britney’s mere existence creates jobs and puts food on the tables of many. 

There are the papparazi photographers who take her picture (and follow her around all day).  Then you consider the magazines that print those photos, and the subscriptions and sales dollars they bring in.  Don’t forget that she’s also a singer, whose albums have made a ton of money for her label, her PR people, and her managers.  She’s been in movies and music videos, has her own perfume, and even starred in her own reality show.  When you break it all down, you can easily see how they arrived at the $120 Million figure.  And if she were on a concert tour, then that number would climb even further, with tour employees, merchandise sales, venue revenue, and so on. 

But the lion’s share of the money she adds to the economy is related to the magazine/tabloid industry.  From the article:

Spears is just one of many stars driving the growing multibillion dollar celebrity news industry. But the Spears story in particular, with a new twist nearly every week, has become a very profitable sub-sector unto itself.

“Britney is the most bankable celebrity out there right now, and she has been for the past year,” said Francois Navarre, founder of the paparazzi agency X17.

And the people who buy those magazines and read them online are the same people who search for her enough online each year to make her the most-searched phrase.   As depressing as it may be, there’s no denying the demand for Britney-related information.

So now I come to the issue of having a vested interest in her well-being.  If anything bad were to happen to her that would cause her popularity to wane…it would be bad for the economy.  And the economy can’t take too many more hits right now, if you know what I mean. 

So maybe instead of groaning when we see her on the cover of another magazine or wishing she would go away…perhaps we should count our blessings.  She may be a train wreck… but she’s a profitable one, at least as far as the U.S. economy is concerned.  I don’t know how much you add to the national bottom line, but I bet it’s not as much as Britney. 

A lot of news today that relates to the ongoing Hollywood writers’ strike–seems like it’s becoming a bigger and bigger deal.  Therefore, for your reading enjoyment, we present the Writers’ Strike Round-up:

1. Juno for Best Picture!  The 2008 Academy Award Nominations were announced this morning, and everyone’s buzzing about the news.  This relates to the writers’ strike because the writers are currently planning to picket this year’s Oscar ceremony.  And actors and directors, in solidarity with the writers, might not be showing up either.  Academy Award producers say they have a plan in place to hold the ceremony without any of the writers or stars so that the show can go on. 

I’m personally a little skeptical that anyone will care to watch an Oscar ceremony without writers or stars, but then again, I wonder why people watch even when the writers and stars are there.  Sure, I want to know who won as much as you do, but I don’t usually spend 4.5 hours watching boring acceptance speeches just to find out.  There’s this thing called the Internet, and I can usually find out the winners in real time on a variety of websites. 

Anyway, I’m pulling for Juno for Best Picture, for many reasons.  First, it’s an underdog.  It’s this year’s “indie darling” film that critics and audiences are loving.  But it’s still a small-time competitor when you consider the competition.  Here are the nominees for Best Picture:

Juno (yay)

There Will Be Blood

No Country For Old Men

Atonement

Michael Clayton

I’m also rooting for Juno because I really liked it.  It’s quirky and fun and sweet, without having to be outlandish or overly strange.  It’s a much-more straightforward story than I expected, but the performances (especially by the lead, Ellen Page, who plays Juno) are exceptional.  Miss Page is also nominated for Best Actress. 

Lastly, I’m pulling for Juno for Best Picture because I haven’t seen any of the other movies that are nominated.  It’s tough to root for a movie you haven’t seen.  In fact, I think this is the year 0f the under-watched Best Picture nominees, because all of those films are smaller, more “indie-type” films that opened on a limited run.  There’s not a single blockbuster on that list–not a Titanic in the bunch–which means the award could go to any of them.  Let us know which film you’re backing for this year’s Best Picture Oscar in the comments below.

2. More people than ever are watching television episodes of their favorite shows online, according to this report.  This is nothing new.  We’ve covered this before–just recently, when we talked about Comcast’s new site for TV shows and movies, called FanCast.  But we get actual statistics this time: 

The number of broadband users who watched full shows online weekly doubled in 2007 from 8% to 16%, says market research firm Horowitz Associates.

Obviously, the connection here to the Writers’ Strike is that people are probably watching more TV episodes online more and more because there’s simply nothing on the real television anymore.  News, sports, and reality shows are basically all that’s left, as the strike has forced an end to production on new episodes of comedies and dramas.  Also, we’re becoming more wired….so, duh.  Of course we’re watching more TV episodes online.  More of us have broadband, there’s more accessibility as the networks and production companies make content more available.  It’s no surprise whatsoever…but it’s still interesting.  I think that percentage will spike even higher in the next few months if the strike isn’t resolved. 

3. Because of the writers’ strike, Americans are beginning to read more, according to this story (which, interestingly enough is from the UK).  See, without new episodes of our favorite TV shows to watch, we’re doing all sorts of things more often than we did just six months ago.  10% said they are reading more books (hooray for literacy!!), and a whopping 27% are simply going to bed earlier. 

Man, are we that dependent on our TV shows?  Without them we have nothing else we can do for entertainment but… go to sleep?!?!  That’s ridiculous!  Read a book like the other 10%.  Play a video game.  Exercise.  Go online and surf the web (or, as we just pointed out above…you can watch TV episodes and movies online people!!).  Talk to your wife or loved ones!  But just….going to sleep?  Wow, that’s pathetic.  We’re really too tied to our TV shows if the best we can do to replace them is…”Well, I guess I’ll go ahead and go to bed.” 

Okay, so our Keystone University doesn’t actually offer a Bachelor’s Degree in anything.  But if it did, it would be in the areas of Fun and Eating.  We have a tenured, experienced staff of instructors who basically majored in those areas themselves. 

What is Keystone University?  Well, I sure am glad you asked, because the whole point of writing this post was to tell you about it. 

Keystone University is a free, hour-long class, taught by Keystone Business Solutions professionals.  Each session covers a different topic in the area of technology like “Everything You Need To Know About Search Engines” or “Why Your Company Needs A Blog.” 

We’ll feed you lunch, teach you something useful in a fun way, and we’ll even throw in a free “Keystone University” T-shirt!  Now how can you turn that down? 

If you’d like to learn more about our upcoming classes, or how you can sign up to be a part of one, stroll on over to our official site.  Classes are limited in size due to the fact that only so many people will fit in our conference room, but we’ll gladly reschedule extra classes when the demand is high.  We want to make sure we’re providing the kind of technology advice our clients find useful, so we hope you’ll check it out.  Maybe you have an area of interest we’re not currently covering, and if so… we’d love to hear your suggestions too. 

Hey, no textbooks to buy, no papers, no final exams.  It’s all the good stuff you remember from college, minus the tuition! 

Look… I’ve been saying for years to anyone that will listen (which, admittedly, hasn’t been a lot of people) that Big Cable is going to die. At least…Big Cable, as we know it, is going to die.

Digital downloads of TV shows and movies are going to kill the basic business model for companies like Comcast, Time Warner, Cox, and all the rest.

Let me explain what I mean. Here’s my set up at home: rabbit ears for local channels and major networks, high-speed Internet service for downloading individual episodes of all my favorite cable-channel shows. Now, instead of paying a monthly fee to Comcast for a hundred channels–many of which I do not use–I pay a small, per-download fee to iTunes or Amazon, and only pay for the content I want.

And virtually all television shows are available online now, some for a fee and some for free.

Once broadband Internet access becomes the norm (if it isn’t already), there is no more need for a set-top box from a cable company. Period. It’s over. The future is in a la carte content.

This is why I’m not surprised at all with the move Comcast made into offering telephone service. They spent the last few years building themselves into a player in the internet service provider industry as well. But actual cable television? Soon to die a wretched death, by my estimation.

And now we have new evidence: Comcast has unveiled a new website called FanCast. FanCast is basically a TV guide mashed together with a video site. They have content deals with all but one major network, and are working on deals with major movie studios. They clearly want FanCast to be your one-stop shop for information and downloads. And so far, that’s fine with me. Go here to check out FanCast.

They have a TON of television shows–full episodes–already available, with promises of more. And the TV shows are free. I guess eventually there will be shows as well as movie downloads that will cost money. Again… fine with me. A la carte, baby!

And this is why a lot of people are saying the HD-DVD versus BluRay war is now over before it’s begun. It’s only a matter of time (years…maybe months) before digital downloads a la carte are the norm. There won’t be a need for a physical disc of any kind, nor a physical “player” to put those discs in. Instead of a DVD in a plastic case, my $15 will buy me a digital copy of that film–at much higher quality, mind you. There are so many benefits to doing it this way, it’s not even funny: no more trips to the store for DVDs, storage space eliminated as a need, higher quality film presentation, less equipment to buy, etc.

This is a very good, bold move by Comcast. They are the first of the big Cable firms to step into this arena, and it’s a signal that they know the days of monthly cable subscribers are numbered. They want to grow this new revenue stream so that when regular cable dies (honestly, probably not for several more years) they won’t have a huge dip in their profits. Smart.

It’s almost enough to make people forget Comcast’s recent not-so-positive headlines, such as the FCC probe into possibly shady restrictions on some customer’s web access, or thelocal Nashville blog for Comcast-haters (people fed up with bad customer service). Almost enough.

If you have broadband, go check out FanCast and watch a TV show, and ask yourself… do you really need to pay those monthly cable fees?

That’s right. Indian automobile manufacturer Tata has announced its newest model, nick-named “The People’s Car,” the Tata Nano will retail for around $2,500.

The Nano is intended not for heavy drivers, but rather for the masses in India who never had a car, but would use it to shuttle to and from work every day.

In fact, the car would officially top out at 75mph, but anything over 45mph would see the thing deteriorate much more rapidly than intended, because they used cheaper parts. I mean, it’s a $2,500 car, for Pete’s sake… how much wear and tear did you think it could handle? I half expect the thing to be made of aluminum foil.

The car would also fail U.S. emissions tests, so put your checkbook away for now. Heck, it’s likely to fail emissions tests in India when that country adopts tougher standards (as they’re expected to within a few years).

From the article:

“Driving the cost-cutting were Tata’s engineers, who in an earlier project questioned whether their trucks really needed all four brake pads or could make do with three. As they built Tata’s new car, for about half the price of the next-cheapest Indian alternative, their guiding philosophy was: Do we really need that?”

Man, do you really want to buy a car whose manufacturer’s philosophy is “Do we really need that”?! I don’t. I mean, I’m as much in favor of cheaper cars as the next guy, but let’s not forget that “you get what you pay for.” I don’t want my surgeon digging around in my body saying “Does he really need that?” Likewise, I sort of like a lot of the features my car has–such as having all four brake pads–even if it cost me 10 times what the Nano would.

So why am I writing about this mega-cheap car if I think it’s such a bad idea? Well, I think it’s a bad idea for me to buy one. And it’s probably a bad idea for you to buy one too. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad idea in principle. There are a lot of folks in India who can now afford transportation, and that’s a good thing.

Also, this car is expected to revolutionize the auto-manufacturing industry…forcing Big Auto to completely reinvent the way they build cars. Consumers are likely to demand cheaper and cheaper vehicles, and car makers are going to meet that need.

Of course, this comes on the heels of GM’s proclamation that self-driving cars will be on the market within 10 years. So we sort of have conflicting ambitions here in the world of car makers. On one end, they’re working feverishly to develop insanely low-priced economy cars for the masses. On the other end, they’re working on robot cars from science fiction movies (and, I’m just guessing here, but I bet those won’t be cheap).

Personally, I’m holding out for the best of both worlds. I want a robot self-driving car whose manufacture built it on the slogan of “do we really need that?” so that it’s super cheap. It’d be like the most flimsy robot car on the road, probably made of cardboard….but hey…it’s a robot car!!

It’s a brand new year, in case you hadn’t noticed. We thought it’d be a good time to look back at the past year and make some solid tech-related resolutions for the coming year. We hope these will help make 2008 a great year for your business, your website, and how you are able to use technology to better server your customers.

1. I will protect my data and the data of my customers.

This article says that computer breaches hit an all-time high in 2007, and show no sign of slowing in 2008. Those of us here in Nashville might wince a little more at this news, considering the recent theft of our voter registration records from a government building (the thieves used the rather high-tech break-in technique referred to as “throwing a rock through the window.”) If you voted in the last election as a registered Nashville voter, your full social security number is probably in the hands of some small-time crooks. Ouch.

But stories like this are a dime a dozen. Federal government agencies have seen laptop thefts compromise the data of hundreds of thousands. Companies everywhere are still being reactive instead of proactive. Identity theft has tripled in the past year.

Here’s a resolution that can save a lot of strife down the road: protect your computers and the data that they store. Password-protect things, and use a real password, not “12345“. Run a firewall (please, for the love of all things holy, run a firewall). Don’t put employee or client data on laptops. Encrypt your wireless router. Basically, all the security steps you’ve avoided because you thought these things couldn’t happen to you.

Start 2008 off fresh, lock down all your data, and be prepared. The consequences are far too scary to skimp on security. We’re happy to help you get set up.

2. I Will Do My Part to Help Search Engines Rank My Site Properly

The latest numbers on search are in, and guess what… search engines are more important than ever. In November 2007 alone, over 61 Billion searches were performed. That’s an average of more than 10 searches per month for every living person on the planet.

According to Enquiro–a web search statistics firm–56% of people use search engines on a daily basis. 26% of those people will give up their search if they can’t find what they’re looking for in the first two pages of search engine results. So, the point is, if you’re site isn’t listed in the first two pages of the rankings for your target keyword phrases, you’re not reaching the very audience that’s looking for you.

It is simply no longer acceptable to just have a website. If you’re not being found in search engines, you’re business is falling behind. Again, we’re happy to help with this sort of thing, but whether you use us or someone else… the fact remains that if you’re not optimizing your site for search, you’re throwing money away.

3. I will stop spamming my clients with ugly, unsolicited emails.

You type up a wonderfully-worded marketing message, paste it in the body of a new email message, and then carbon copy your entire contact list… raise your hand if you’re guilty of this?

This may be annoying some of your customers who don’t necessarily appreciate SPAM messages. What’s worse, your messages probably aren’t even getting to many of your intended recipients. One of the first things spam filters look for is numerous recipients of a single message–even the most basic filters will often block your message before the customer even has a chance to see it.

What if I told you there was a way to send a marketing message through email that looks beautiful, a message so branded and personalized that the customers actually wanted to recieve it? Would you believe that such a thing already exists? We call it Keymail. Keymail is an email marketing product that conforms to all spam laws. It is custom designed to match your existing website, logo, or other graphics. It has personalization features to make recipients feel like a prized client. And best of all? It’s cheap. So cheap that not using it is almost criminal.

4. I will stop wasting time and money dealing with unwanted spam emails.

Spam costs money. Most of our clients say they get between 100-200 unwanted solicitation emails per day–at least, those not using our Postini email filter. Wading through all those messages to discern the junk from the business correspondance wastes precious time. Even if you only spend 10 minutes a day sorting email, that adds up to over 43 hours a year. I don’t know what you make per hour, but multiply that number by 43 and you’ll see a very real dollar amount for how much money spam is costing you.

Google–you might have heard of them–they own Postini, and use it on their Gmail service. Google says more than 70% of all email to their Gmail accounts is spam. If you’re not experiencing a similar level of spam, count yourself lucky. Oh, and act now, before it gets worse.

You owe it to yourself to free up your time. And like Keymail, Postini email filtering is every bit as inexpensive as it is effective.

5. I will throw my server down a flight of stairs in a cathartic release

Okay, we don’t really encourage you to do that. Servers don’t tend to survive such trips, as our video above shows. Yes, that’s really us, at our real office, chucking a useless and hated server to its death. (Hey, we thought it would be best to end this list of resolutions with something fun). Should you ever find yourself so frustrated with your machine that you can’t help but recreate the above scene–we’ll do what we can to help you get back on your feet. But it’s easier if we set up the new server before destroying the old one!Happy New Year, Keystone clients! May 2008 be filled with technology solutions that see your business grow beyond your dreams.